I was in the diner with two other women, having a salad and telling them the one about the guy who bought a live chicken for dinenr to take home and pluck, cook, and eat. On the way home, the guy decided to stop into a movie. He stuck the chicken down his pants to hide it. While watching the movie, the chicken sounded like it was croaking. The guy opened his zipper to give it air. Next to him were two women.
"Mabel, look the guy next to me just opened his zipper."
The other waved her away. "All men got the same thing," the other said. "I don't need to look."
"But Mabel, his thing is eating my popcorn."
The two women I told this joke to were hysterical laughing and I ended up joining them in it. In a moment, a slice of cucumber lodged sideways in my throat. I couldn't get it up and I couldn't get it down. There were tears in my eyes from the pain. My friends clappped me on the back. The waiter brought me tea.
"The tea will dissolve it," the waiter said.
Four cups later, still in terrible pain, I felt as if I was going to throw up. I raced into the bathroom, so desperate that I didn't notice it was the Men's room. There was a guy at the urinal. He turned towards me, still spraying.
"Oh!" I said, and the slice of cucumber flew up out of my mouth in an arc.
Moral: Don't chew with your mouth full and never laugh at your own jokes!